Spring Break
The truth is falling in love can be scary
Emily MurrayIssue date: 3/20/08 Section: News
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I am terrified of falling in love.
In fact, I am slightly terrified of the word "love" in general.
Am I some freak of nature? Now that I am on the edge of falling hard, all I want to do is run back in the opposite direction through miserable relationship after miserable relationship, hiding there until this blows over.
I'm not sure if it is simply an environmentally-influenced thing or maybe it's because, like most people my age, I've been burned in the past.
Whatever the case, I feel like it is exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time.
Recently, I read on gleez.com, 12 signs you are falling in love.
They included things like the fact that you'll "walk really, really slow while you're with him; feel shy whenever you're with him ... and that you'll do anything for him."
That's not at all the reassurance I was hoping for, but still, I don't associate love directly with falling in love so what exactly is the difference?
According to SearchYourLove.com: "You have to do nothing to fall in love and often there's either nothing you can do to stop falling in love.
"It's very illogical: you suffer from splashes of emotions, doubts, can't fully control yourself and it's all because of a person you usually almost don't know."
If there is nothing I can do to stop this, short of sabotaging a good start to a relationship, I think I'll just try to act brave and see where this goes, because I guess when it comes to life getting good there is always some risk involved.
Maybe the first step is acceptance.
There is such a high level of vulnerability that seems to come with this though.
I almost feel like I'm in one of those awful nightmares where you're standing naked in the middle of a classroom with the whole room staring at you while your legs lock and won't allow you to run or hide.
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