College Times

Issue date: 5/29/08 Section: Sex

Media Credit: Photos.com

When I first read on RadarOnline.com that Spencer Pratt of MTV's The Hills was giving out back door banging advice I giggled like a stereotypical Catholic school girl who believes she is preserving her virginity by engaging only in anal sex.

Sure, "prat" translates to "buttocks," which to some may mean he has the authority to answer the question, "How long do you have to date somebody before it's appropriate to bring up the possibility of anal sex?", but it seems unlikely he rode dirty on the Hershey Highway considering what a tight ass his girlfriend Heidi is.

Whether or not Pratt did the chocolate cha-cha, his answers were surprisingly reasonable, but all too obvious. "If you're dating a guy, (tell him) right away. If they (the girl) are not bringing it up, it's not something on their agenda. That's just realistic."

According to Pratt, his close friend has a few words of advice. "My boxing coach Dirty Phi says, 'If you stick your pinkie in there, and then another finger, and then another, and she responds happily, then it's cool.'"

And yes, sadly someone with the name Dirty Phi is right.

But before you go taking advice from a D-Lister who turned down an invitation to sit at MSNBC.com's table at the White House Correspondent's Dinner because he reportedly said it wasn't "A-Listy enough" and a boxing coach whom a Google search turns up nothing about, consider where you and your partner are at in your relationship.

Deciding to go in a new direction in your sex lives and take a (dirt) road trip to Brown Town is a huge choice not only for you and your partner, but you alone.

Initiating conversations about sex can be difficult and at times awkward, especially if starting out by saying, "Well, Spencer Pratt (or Dirty Phi) says..."

Truth is, there's no perfect line or perfect place and time. Just be open and honest about how you feel.

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