College Times

Media Credit: Photos.com This is not Jack Thompson

In any story, the hero is only as good as the villain he’s battling. Where would Superman be without Lex Luthor? Who would care about Dudley Do-Right if not for Snidely Whiplash? What would become of Rockstar games if not for Jack Thompson?

For those who do not follow video game politics, Thompson is a Florida lawyer who never had friends in elementary school. Okay, that’s probably not true, but his peak periods of activity always happen after school shootings and whenever Rockstar releases a new game, usually resulting in a lot of hot air and petitions to get games banned. He’s been at the forefront of every major gaming controversy for the last 10 years and is pretty much synonymous with the belief that video games are the root of society’s evils.

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Notice how many times Thompson shows up, blasting the video game industry for sex, violence and depravity. The best part is when Thompson conjectures that the Virginia Tech shooter was an avid gamer. He’s just kind of a tool in my book.

Well, the self-proclaimed moral compass of the video game world might soon find himself of a job. Yesterday, Thompson walked out of the Florida bar hearing that has just recommended an “enhanced disbarment” for Thompson, meaning that he will lose his license to practice law for up to 10 years. Just like the upstairs neighbors who turn down the music after 3 a.m., we’d appreciate the quiet if Thompson was gone.

The Florida Supreme court found Thompson guilty of 27 counts of professional misconduct, 21 of those related to a civil suit against the “Grand Theft Auto” games, and four related to Rockstar’s “Bully.” The fact that Rockstar didn’t have to lift a finger to bring about this hearing means that the responsibility falls solely on Thompson.

But the soon-to-be-former lawyer didn’t go quietly, proving that Thompson’s hate speech against the video games was just a fraction of what the man is capable of.

In a 14-page objection aptly titled “Thompson's Formal Objection to June 4 Sanctions Hearing,” Thompson defended his role as video game crusader, quoting the Bible, highlighting his importance in this year’s presidential race and basically pissing off everyone who wasn’t already irritated with him to begin with.

The fact that Thompson spends the first 500 words arguing why the presiding Judge Tunis isn’t an actual judge because he believes she didn’t take the proper oath, and therefore refers to her as Referee Tunis, kind of sums what Thompson is all about. He goes on, for quite some time, arguing the religious and moral convictions that have made his work valuable.

“Jesus was not a silent doormat and neither am I."

– Jack Thompson

The simple truth is this: Controversy in gaming has done little to hurt the sales of said video games. With the exception of the AO rating hurtled by the ESRB, senators and lawyers who use games like “Manhunt” as a platform do nothing more than raise public awareness. Consider it free advertising.

While most gamers might be ready to never hear from Thompson and his crazy ways, the fact is that Jack Thompson should be put on Rockstar Games’ payroll. Though if he’s going to make any headway, he’s seriously got to read up on some “how to not piss people off” books.

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