College Times

Issue date: 6/12/08 Section: Top 10s

Media Credit: Chuck Kennedy

10. Lauren Caitlin Upton
While her name might not be recognizable right off the bat, watch this and you'll know exactly what I mean.

9. Paris Hilton
You're all familiar with her cutesy saying "That's Hot," but it wouldn't be so cute when she said it to Obama when he asked her about withdrawing from the war. Plus, like anyone could really take her seriously in anything other than a bathing suit.

8. Rosie O'Donnell
Come on, she couldn't even handle herself on "The View"; how could you expect her to handle herself as the president's right hand lady? But it would be sweet to piss off the Republicans to have a Black president and a lesbian vice president though, huh?

7. Joan Rivers
She'd yell Obama's ear off to the point that he'd backhand her, and then how would it look to the American people? Also, her face is basically immobile so when she says she's reacting to something, it won't look like it, leading her to look like a liar.

6. Dina Lohan
Infamously known as the mother of the Lohan siblings, she's all about self-promoting and her entire job would revolve around things like how her television show is awesome, and not about serious things, like how Obama doesn't look good in red neck ties or how a brown belt definitely doesn't go with black shoes.

5. Star Jones
While they do have an obvious thing in common, Jones would overpower Obama to the point that it would seem they switched places. Jones would then become president, which would just be down right scary.

4. Ron Jeremy
He's known for being well-endowed and is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for "Most Appearances in Adult Films." With all that said, he's still a little creepy. And Obama has young daughters. You draw the line.

3. Ann Coulter
Regardless of her views on the way the world is run, which is a large portion of why she and Obama wouldn't be a match made in heaven, she just doesn't look good with him. And that's a big deal. I mean, look at Bush and Cheney. Sometimes it hurts to look at both of them, because they're so good looking. And that's not something that you come by on a regular basis.

2. Gene Simmons
Okay, so I have to give Simmons props for having that incredible tongue that has a life of its own, but it would get distracting. Especially since that's what he's famous for (it's not like he was a rock star or anything), he'd be flashing it around everywhere, and that'd just get old after a while.

AND LASTLY

1. Stewie Griffin
He's into world domination and killing off his mother. That doesn't create a good image for the American people. Plus, I don't know about you, but I still haven't figured out if people can actually hear him. That could create some problems.

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