College Times

Issue date: 7/10/08 Section: News

Media Credit: Photos.com

Even though it's been over three years since I took the dreaded Standard Aptitude Test (or SAT), I still have flashbacks from that sweaty day.

I woke up at what I thought was the crack of dawn (but it was really something like 6:30 a.m. or 7 a.m.) and threw on pajama pants and a comfy t-shirt. I couldn't be bothered by the normal day-to-day rigmarole of putting on makeup and making sure my hair looked halfway decent.

I carpooled with two other girls because at the time I wasn't legally allowed behind the wheel. We all talked about how nervous we were but how we were glad we were the last group of students taking the "old" SAT that was on the 1,600-point rating scale, instead of the "new" one, that is out of 2,400 points instead.

We headed into the classroom and took the grueling test. By the time I was done, all I wanted to do was go home and shove my head into my pillow, hoping that it was all a misty and uncomfortable dream.

Then, what seemed like six months had passed and I got my scores. Simply put, they were not good. Or should I say, not good enough - for my folks anyway.

So I set out onto Collegeboard.com to register again for another nightmare. Only this time, enough time had passed where the "new" SAT was instated and the "old" one was retired. Now, I had to prepare my mind for the notion that I could lose more points because the final point subtotal was higher, and prepare my hand for a writing potion.

I wasn't that worried about the writing potion because, let's face it, I'm a writer by nature. But, it was those extra 800 points that irked me more than I can describe in a column.

This time, I took myself to that damned test, determined to rock its socks off, and I felt like I did. In reality, when another six months passed (not really), I hadn't done much better than the first time. I examined my scores and wasn't surprised that I kicked the essay's ass around test town. But, just like the other one, I sucked at the math. Damn you, math and your exacting answers!

So, when I read recently in Newsweek that the "new" SAT is only "slightly" better than the old one, I scratched my head for about a minute straight.

The College Board put out this study about the "new" SAT and said that it's now more of an "achievement" test than an "aptitude" test and that, overall, it's not "substantially different" than the "old" one.

My suggestion to the College Board is to do away with the SAT all together. Forget "old" and "new" testing, and judge the possible incoming students on the wholeness of their high school experience.

I can tell you that I know at least one lazy ass from my high school who was a straight C-student. He took the "old" SAT and got a near-perfect score. He got a full ride and dropped out of college half way through his first semester.

So, I beg thee, dear College Board, burn the existing SAT tests, call the factories to stop production of future tests and take this hearty slap on the back as a "Thanks" from the collective body of students in America for all the stress you've caused us. Good goin'.

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