College Times

Issue date: 9/11/08 Section: Top 10s

Media Credit: Photos.com

1. The vigorous note taker. Quit shaking my shit, dude!

2. The slightly Gothic Metal fan. If you even catch a glimpse at the mythical Unisus he's doodling in his notebook, you'll be hooked. Just steer clear.

3. The guy with sunglasses on the back of his head. Just in case, I'd avoid sitting behind him as well.

4. Distracted sorority girl with any pink cell phone in hand. Not only will she be texting the entire hour and 15 minutes you're invading each other's personal space, but she'll also be asking you questions about the homework that the professor just thoroughly explained.

5. Overly inquisitive B-average student. The entire class will be looking in your direction when he asks the professor how authentic the Genghis Khan costume was from "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure."

6. The mumbling stoner. What was that? Something about Chow Mein?

7. Debbie Downer. There's one in every class and you're going to hear every depressing thing she has to say. Just sit on the other side of class so her bad energy doesn't rub off on you when she's talking about Ebola virus.

8. The sweaty athlete. More often than not, they won't be in class anyway. So, let this also be a warning to avoid the kid who just left the gym.

9. In-class Taco Bell consumer. Avoid him for many obvious reasons. But do watch from across the room as he unhinges his jaw and swallows that Cheesy Double Beef Burrito whole, followed by a gallon of carbonated sugar water. Glorious.

10. The reporter for the school paper. He's the pretentious authority on all things college. Trust me on this one. I know.

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