College Times

10. The Accommodator – This rubber strap-on dildo you wear on your face makes us think all sorts of naughty thoughts about Walt Disney's Pinocchio, but once we get past the idea of a pre-pubescent puppet poking his nose in places we will not speak of, the Accommodator starts to make a lot of sense in that you can penetrate your lady friend while orally pleasuring her at the same time.  

9. Mr. Jack with Mustache – This rubber jack-off sleeve for men thoroughly creeps us out, especially the Chester-Molester-like mustache, but we have to admit it is the ideal alternative to a one-night-stand – a mouth that doesn't talk – which means no awkward morning after goodbyes. 

8. Nanny Cam – This "insertable micro camera for internal viewing action with a powerful, multi-speed bullet easily plugs into your television or records on your VCR" sounds a tad bit freaky, but makes us feel super special at the same time because hell, we've never been on TV. 

7.  Road Warrior – This vibrator that plugs into your car's cigarette lighter would certainly make the drive home from work one worth looking forward to, but we're a bit worried about the salivating semi-truck driver with the bird's eye view into our car.

6. Mega Nipple Exciter – This vibrating pump with a red rubber bulb that you attach to your tit sounds fun enough, except for the fact that it leaves a hickey behind. The only problem is we can't shake from our head that the pump looks strangely similar to a clown's nose and we fear our boyfriend might make obnoxious noises when squeezing it. 

5.  Double Dong with Balls – Two dildos joined at the scrotum has us thinking, "Double the pleasure, double the fun," only thing is we might find our dog thinking the same thing and mistaking it for a chew toy, in that case we'll give it to him and suffer the consequences when our parents come over for dinner and ask us, "What the hell is that?"

4.  EZ Rider With 6-Inch Realistic Cock – This dildo mounted on an inflatable ball looks absolutely bizarre, but because it reminds us of a therapy ball like the ones we use at the gym, we have to admit it would probably make working out so much more relaxing. 

3. Joy Finger – This realistic dismembered rubber finger mounted on a plastic vibrator is probably the most horrifying sex toy we have ever seen in our life, but damn would it make a great Halloween decoration and boy, do we love Halloween.

2.  Kaylani's Foot Fetish – This molded female foot in a high-heeled sandal with a vagina on the sole of the shoe simply has us wondering, "Why?"

1. Dick Rambone Dildo – This dildo, cast from the member of a porn star, which is 15 inches long, almost 8 inches around and 2 1/2 inches thick absolutely, positively scares us, but more importantly, we think it would scare a burglar if one broke into our home, especially if we were swinging it around screaming obscenities.

http://www.crazy-ass-sex-toys.com

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