College Times

Issue date: 1/22/09 Section: Sex

Media Credit: iStockPhotos.com

In college most of us have a variety of roommates – some random, some friends. Either way, you have to adjust.

But what about when you fall in love? Is it a good idea to live together before you marry?

As someone who’s currently experiencing it, I say definitely yes. I found that living with my boyfriend has been the best living situation I’ve ever had.

Here’s why:

Living with a roommate can be weird, it’s like everything is separated; this is mine and that’s yours.

Some people take it so far – I guess they never learned how to share when they were children or something – that if you even touch, eat or watch their stuff they freak out.

I had a roommate who would only do her stuff – dishes, laundry, you name it – and never compromise; this started a lot of drama and ended with us ultimately hating each other.

Once I used a plate and just left it in the sink without washing it. Then I went out of town for two weeks and when I came back, the plate was still in the sink. She could have washed the dish, but since it wasn’t hers she saved it for me to wash when I returned home.

My point is that if you’re in a happy, healthy relationship chances are these sorts of things won’t happen – or, at least, they won’t happen as often – when you live with your significant other, because you won’t mind doing things for each other.

If you’re planning on moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend, here’s some advice on planning for the big issues.

1. Decide if you’re ready

My boyfriend, Matt, is the first I’ve lived with, and since then our relationship has become so much stronger.

He’s the best roommate I’ve ever had because we want to help each other and, more importantly, we have fun together. For the first time I don’t feel like ‘this is mine, and that is yours’ I feel like it’s all ours. I can sit wherever I want, eat what I want and use what I want, and that’s how home should feel.

The success we’ve had so far has made me confident that by the time marriage and kids come up that we’ll be ready because this foundation that we’ve built is so strong. It’s nice to know already that when I’m a mom that I’ll have help from him with things like chores and money. 

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