Top 10 Words I Hate
Christina CaldwellIssue date: 3/12/09 Section: Top 10s
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I let my friends in on this little nugget of knowledge a little while back, and they've been taunting me with the words I loathe ever since. I'm an ass for ever letting them know.
These words don't annoy me in the traditional sense. It's not like the word "hubby," which is just stupid and makes me hate myself. These words just sound horrible to the ear and feel bad in my mouth when I say them.
I always imagine a sweaty, fat, tank-topped, mustachioed white guy inviting me into his vehicle saying these words.
I'm also dumb enough to let the public know which ones they are. Here are the top 10 words I hate:
10. Succulent. If you use that word on a regular basis, odds are you're a total pervert. Basically, words people use to describe food generally gross me out.
9. Silly. I'm considering never having children just because of this word. It seems to be the one word all moms absolutely must say when raising a child. I just can't do it.
8. Massage. There are too many different connotations to this one, so I'd prefer that it was never used at all.
7. Mayonnaise. The condiment itself is actually quite gross as well.
6. Tender. Thanksgiving is usually a bad time of year for me.
5. Nude. Sometimes I'm naked, but I'm never nude.
4. Ointment. It reminds me of skin diseases, STDs and pigs.
3. Smear. Girls understand this one.
2. Scalp. My friends joke that they're going to get me a bottle of Head and Shoulders shampoo and write "for moist, tender scalps," on it.
1. Moist. I think this is by far the worst word in the English language. It sounds so disgusting. On my friend's last birthday, I went to buy her a cake from Safeway. On it was the statement, "the moistest cake you've ever tasted." For a moment, I considered not buying it because I knew at some point someone would read that out loud.
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