College Times

Issue date: 3/26/09 Section: Top 10s

Last night whilst I was riding the light rail home from my four-hour class (yes, I'm insane). I heard one of the most interesting conversations of my life so far. True story.

These two men, who were in their 30s, were talking about boobs. Okay, fine, whatever, it's just a boob conversation. I can handle it. I have three sisters and a mother. I've had many conversations about boobs before.

But what stuck me were the words they were using to refer to boobs. They weren't using "breasts," "ta-tas" or even "boobies" but this following list:

10. Hooters

9. Jubblies

8. Melons

7. Magumbos

6. Puppies

5. Happy Sacks

4. Sweater Cows

3. Waterbags

2. Fun Bags

1. Monkey Mounds

If I ever encountered a man who came up to me and said "Hey Lady, I like your Monkey Mounds" … Well, let's just say he wouldn't be getting anything from me, not even a smile.

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