College Times

Issue date: 4/2/09 Section: Top 10s

Media Credit: MCT

Last week, President and First Lady Obama went on a European excursion. Now, before I get called un-American, I'm sure he was there doing official Presidential work, but one of the biggest things the media reported on was that Michelle Obama hugged the Queen.

You can check out one of the many stories about it here.

The other big news was that the Obamas gave the Queen an iPod. Packed with Broadway show tunes. Like songs from "West Side Story" and "My Fair Lady." Guys, she already has two. Do your homework.

This gaffe is just begging the question: What could the Obamas have gotten the Queen? The following is a list of just some of the American things that could have been given.

10) An above-ground pool filled with Coca-Cola.

9) An unlimited gift certificate to Wal-Mart online

8) Instead of the Fruit of the Month Club from Harry and David, the Keg of the Month Club from her favorite beer company.

7) A lifetime supply of Fritos.

6) A card with recorded messages from Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Terminator movies, and then a finale of him singing "You Are My Sunshine".

5) Amy Winehouse. She's British, isn't she?

4) A crotch rocket

3) An all-expenses-paid month-long trip to Las Vegas, complete with Sven the Swedish "masseur" and Marco the Italian "room service man."

2) A Colt .45

1) An autographed holographic picture of Chuck Norris: It actually roundhouse kicks you when you tilt it back and forth.

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