College Times

Issue date: 4/9/09 Section: Blogs

Media Credit: Photos.com

I was sitting on the light rail late one night when the most ridiculous thought popped into my head. But then I realized that it's really not that ridiculous.

Maybe it was the fashion magazine I saw a fellow student reading, or maybe it was the tired-looking man's shirt that sat near me that said "Crystal Methodist," but for a moment, it struck me odd that people wear clothes at all.

Seriously, what's up with that crap?

In that moment I had an epiphany. We should all go naked.

Now before you think I've completely gone coo-coo bananas, hear me out. Maybe we should all just stop wearing clothes. I don't see anything wrong with it.

Of course, once we get past the initial excitement of seeing every beautiful person we come across naked (and, of course, the shock of seeing every unattractive person in the buff), I think the world could be a rather wonderful place.

There would be no more worrying about what to wear to that big interview. There would be no need to impress people with your Dolce & Gabbana shoes or your Louis Vuitton purse. Of course, there would probably be more permanent things we would worry about impressing people with…

I wonder how the very first no-clothes day would go. Would everyone be shy about their naked bodies? Would everyone spend the day complimenting each other's goods? No, that would be weird. Then again, who couldn't use a compliment every once in awhile?

When you think about it, we're really meant to be naked. Sure, if you want to bring religion into the picture, we're supposed to be aware of our nakedness (thanks, Eve). But from a purely evolutionary standpoint, this is all we were meant to be given. So what's so wrong with our bodies that we insist on covering them up?

Somehow I don't think people would be so prone to violence and conflict if their junk was exposed 24/7. Then again, sharks are always naked too. What was I talking about?

Oh yeah! We should all go naked for a day and see how things turn out.

I take that back. After taking a moment to consider the issues that would arise from international in-the-buff day (mainly those concerning sanitation and public transportation), I take back that proposition.

Keep your clothes on, Crystal Methodist. For the love of God, keep them on.

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