Spring Break
Top 10 ways to repel women
Christina CaldwellIssue date: 4/30/09 Section: Top 10s
I like to drink. I like to drink with my friends at bars. More specifically, I like to drink with my girl friends at bars.
Going out with a group of girls is always a risk. Nearly every blitzed-up creeper in the bar will focus in on the four ladies without male companionship.
So let me be the first to tell you - rarely will any woman worth dating be attracted to a guy who is trying to pick her up at a bar. If, by some divine miracle, you are not a skeezy guy trying to get laid, but actually a genuinely good person who just happens to be at a bar, by all means, talk to those girls.
But if you're unsure about where you stand, use this as a guide on what not to do. Here are some of the ways men have tried to pick up on me and my friends in bars. They didn't work:
10. "You're hot! No, seriously. You're really effing hot!"
Girls love compliments. That's a given. But there are some guys who think flattery is the best policy and don't know when to stop with the compliments, especially compliments about the physical. Think of the possibilities! If you actually take the time to get to know her instead of commenting on her eyes, you might have a whole 'nother realm of compliment possibilities.
9. "What high school did you go to? Me too!"
If you've uttered these words, odds are you were lying. Women don't like being lied to.
8. "Are you okay? You're alright?"
Yeah, dude. We're just fine ... just waiting in the line to go pee. Speaking of which ...
7. Hang out by the girl's bathroom.
This is the creepiest way to pick up on women I've ever seen. The other night at Cue Club, three guys were hanging out just outside the women's bathroom chatting up girls in line. Not one of those girls actually wanted to engage in conversation with them.
6. "One time I shit in my pants."
Funny stories are great. Seriously, there's nothing better than a funny guy. But if your stories involve toilet humor, go back and hang by your buddies. I want to enjoy my beer without thinking about your excretory system malfunctioning.
5. Play games.
If you're interested in one girl, don't try to make her jealous by hitting on her less attractive friend. Guys think their mind games are brilliant, but they forget that girls are 10 times better at it. Amateurs.
4. Wear head-to-toe denim.
There's no easier way to look like a middle-aged creepo than by hanging out at a bar alone in all denim clothing. Yes, your denim shirt, denim pants and denim jacket match. That's not a good thing. We're always left to wonder "what else of his is denim?"
3. Tell her she has a pretty mouth.
Your intentions are clear. We're probably not interested.
2. Shout "Hey! How are you!" from across the bar, then run up and grab her by the arm.
First instinct: Friendly rape?
1. Have a ponytail. Love your ponytail.
Going out with a group of girls is always a risk. Nearly every blitzed-up creeper in the bar will focus in on the four ladies without male companionship.
So let me be the first to tell you - rarely will any woman worth dating be attracted to a guy who is trying to pick her up at a bar. If, by some divine miracle, you are not a skeezy guy trying to get laid, but actually a genuinely good person who just happens to be at a bar, by all means, talk to those girls.
But if you're unsure about where you stand, use this as a guide on what not to do. Here are some of the ways men have tried to pick up on me and my friends in bars. They didn't work:
10. "You're hot! No, seriously. You're really effing hot!"
Girls love compliments. That's a given. But there are some guys who think flattery is the best policy and don't know when to stop with the compliments, especially compliments about the physical. Think of the possibilities! If you actually take the time to get to know her instead of commenting on her eyes, you might have a whole 'nother realm of compliment possibilities.
9. "What high school did you go to? Me too!"
If you've uttered these words, odds are you were lying. Women don't like being lied to.
8. "Are you okay? You're alright?"
Yeah, dude. We're just fine ... just waiting in the line to go pee. Speaking of which ...
7. Hang out by the girl's bathroom.
This is the creepiest way to pick up on women I've ever seen. The other night at Cue Club, three guys were hanging out just outside the women's bathroom chatting up girls in line. Not one of those girls actually wanted to engage in conversation with them.
6. "One time I shit in my pants."
Funny stories are great. Seriously, there's nothing better than a funny guy. But if your stories involve toilet humor, go back and hang by your buddies. I want to enjoy my beer without thinking about your excretory system malfunctioning.
5. Play games.
If you're interested in one girl, don't try to make her jealous by hitting on her less attractive friend. Guys think their mind games are brilliant, but they forget that girls are 10 times better at it. Amateurs.
4. Wear head-to-toe denim.
There's no easier way to look like a middle-aged creepo than by hanging out at a bar alone in all denim clothing. Yes, your denim shirt, denim pants and denim jacket match. That's not a good thing. We're always left to wonder "what else of his is denim?"
3. Tell her she has a pretty mouth.
Your intentions are clear. We're probably not interested.
2. Shout "Hey! How are you!" from across the bar, then run up and grab her by the arm.
First instinct: Friendly rape?
1. Have a ponytail. Love your ponytail.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
DatingIsWeird
posted 5/01/09 @ 10:59 AM MST
I had a guy come up to me at a bar once and compliment my surgery scar on my forearm. He said, and I quote, "That's sure a sexy scar" to which I replied that I had just gotten out of the hospital for an attempted suicide try. (Continued…)
I prefer toilets
posted 5/04/09 @ 1:30 PM MST
He's an angry little shitter, isn't he?
Post a Comment