College Times

Issue date: 5/7/09 Section: Blogs

Media Credit: Photos.com

The timeline discussion includes having a plan for when you want to move in together, get married and have kids - if at all. Big topics that are big issues in relationships. This nerve-wracking talk is essential for all couples to eventually have. Sure, it's easier just to coast through a relationship and see what happens, but in my experience, I've found that having a plan is best for making sure that you and your partner are both on the same page. You can't date someone and not know if they ever want to have kids or get married. You need to plan for your future and know that you're not wasting your time with that person.

Some couples never discuss these big issues and wind up accidentally getting pregnant or staying with someone who they think they'll marry, only to later find out that person never wants to get married. These common situations are deal breakers and you need to know where each of you stand.

I admit it's an awkward talk. My boyfriend and I still blush when we talk about marriage and children. But at least we're clear on the fact that both of us do eventually want marriage and kids, although just not yet. If after being with him for five years, I found out that he didn't ever want to have kids, I don't know what I would do. I would probably not be able to be with him.

If you are in a serious relationship, it's important to know what your partner's plans are. Does he or she want to get married in the next few years? Or be a young parent? If so, how many kids does he or she want? That way, both of you can work together for this common goal that you share, or move on if you find that you each want different things.

Remember, although you might have amazing chemistry with someone, it does not mean that this is the right person for you to be with. Sure, you might have fun together, but that's not to say this is the type of person you want to spend your life with. So rather then slipping up and getting yourself into a situation you regret, have the timeline discussion and make sure you know where you stand.

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