College Times

Issue date: 5/14/09 Section: Blogs

It's undeniable that we're in a pretty shitty economic situation. We've all had to cut back our spending habits, only making one 2 a.m. Cheba Hut visit per week instead of two, and shopping at Goodwill instead of Nordstrom.

But, according to this USA Today article, some items have been flying off the shelves, seeing a spike in sales that has been virtually unheard of until now.

Chocolate and running shoes top the list, which is sort of contradictory.

"Here, let me soothe my fears and pain by chowing down on an entire bag of Reese's. But, oh wait, here are my new running shoes so I can work it off later." - That doesn't really make sense, America.

If you thought the combination of chocolate and running shoes is weird, stop reading, because the following is even weirder: gold coins and Spam.

Yeah, because when I think about pinching pennies, I secretly desire them to be larger and gold. And, when I think about the lovely tofu spinach salad I just ate, I secretly wish it were a Spam sandwich, complete with a Kraft single for flavor.

Some hygiene products are also on the rise: condoms - because what better way to melt away the recession blues that to get freaky - tanning products, Pepto-Bismol and laxatives.

It seems sort of like we have our collective heads up our asses when it comes to recession priorities. Let's buy some better food, let's make sure our health is in order and then go on buying tanning lotion and chocolate.

And, just promise me...yes you, the reader, that no matter how bad things get, you won't get sucked into one of those commercials where you can turn all your left over gold into cash. Or those scams where you buy knives for a ridiculously outrageously hiked up price and then go around to your neighbors to try to make your money back. Just don't.

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