College Times

Issue date: 5/14/09 Section: Top 10s

Media Credit: Stacey Wescott

I saw a girl wearing Uggs the other day. In Phoenix. In May. It was 101.

Just for her, here's a list of activities in which Uggs are acceptable.

10. Museums of natural history: According to scientists, the first shoes were worn about 40,000 years ago. Despite no scientific evidence to back up our claim, we contend that they probably looked an awful lot like Uggs.

9. Hobbit soccer: The poor mythical creatures never did fit into a pair of Adidas.

8. Seal-clubbing: College Times does not condone or encourage this brutal sport, but if you choose to partake, keep it warm and comfy, yo!

7. Insulation: Trends die (don't tell the aforementioned girl), but embarrassing relics of fads past don't have to go to waste. Imagine if all the world's Ugg-owners donated their boots to be chopped up and used as insulation in low-cost homes for low-income families? Ugg-believable!

6. Baking: Uggs are durable and extremely temperature-resistant. Sounds like the recipe for perfect oven mitts, to me.

5. Mud-slogging: You wouldn't want to ruin your shoes that aren't hideous to begin with, would you?

4. Sherpas: Only those specially trained and licensed as a Sherpa should attempt to, um, Sherp. And any Sherpa worth his weight in, um, Sherpo, knows the value of warm, insulated kicks.

3. Drinking Starbucks: Any and all trends, no matter how unreasonable, are welcome at America's favorite corporate coffee retailer.

2. Sledding: Nothing ruins a brisk slide down a hill like a pair of chilly feet. Ugg up, already!

1. Jumping off a bridge: River water is often very cold, and a pair of water-sealed Uggs work wonders to keep toes warm and stave off hypothermia. Wait, what did you think we were implying Okay, if you insist…

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