College Times

Issue date: 5/21/09 Section: Blogs

Media Credit: Photos.com

Meeting the parents and/or family of the person you’re dating is generally inevitable. But it’s nothing to fear. Sure, their parents can be socially awkward, mean or hard to talk to, but it’s nothing that a few hours of Acting 101 can’t handle.

When you meet the family, be on your best behavior until you find out that anything else is okay. His or her parents will judge you – you’re dating their offspring – so don’t go in swearing and chugging beers right off the bat, feel it out and see what type of people they are.

If they order alcohol, then you can. If they’re telling crazy stories about their past, join in with a PG-13 story of yours, but they don’t need to know everything. If they’re cool parents then loosen up a little, but remember that just because they’re fun doesn’t mean that it’s okay to disrespect them; they’re still the parents of your partner.

If there’s nothing you can do to make his or her parents like you, don’t blame your partner. Neither of you can control his or her parents, so the two of you have to team up and make the whole experience as comfortable as possible.

In high school, I dated a Cuban guy and his parents refused to meet me just because of the fact that I’m white. At the time it made me sad, but what are you going to do? Hopefully, you don’t have to deal with closed-minded in-laws once you’re ready to commit to a person, but if you do, try not to let it negatively affect your relationship.

This can be hard because families can be a touchy issue. That’s why when it comes to each others’ families, this is one relationship issue where I say bite your tongue. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all! If his parents are driving you crazy, gently talk to your partner about it, but don’t say that you think his family is a bunch of jerks. When it comes to family, you can insult your own, but if someone else does, it’s not okay.

Try to make your relationship with his parents one where both of you feel comfortable. Ask them questions about themselves and get to know them, because not only will they feel flattered that you care, but also everyone loves to talk about themselves.

Also ask them about your boyfriend or girlfriend as a child, because parents love talking about their kids and it’s fun learning embarrassing stories about your partner.

But, most importantly, tell them about your good qualities. It might feel like a job interview at first, but it’s one of the sacrifices you have to make in relationships, and hopefully over time his or her parents will see what your partner sees in you and everyone can have a good friendship. 

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