Spring Break
Top 10 Reasons Arizona Sucks
Caitlin TorresIssue date: 6/18/09 Section: Top 10s
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10. It is basically Hell's sauna during the summer. If it were any hotter here, I think all living things would be banned from living here.
9. The people are angry from the heat. It is hard to tell the difference between a person who is hot and a person who is angry in this state because they are the same; red-faced and bitchy.
8. You must fear driving on the road. Arizona is a melting pot of people. You never know who you are going to be driving near. God forbid you end up behind anyone from Iowa; you will end up at your destination 30 minutes later than you planned. In case you don't get the Iowa joke, the a.k.a. for people from Iowa is "Idiots out Wandering Around." You will find me flipping these people off.
7. The water parks are dirty. If you plan to cool off during the summer, stick to your own pool or else you are probably swimming in someone else's feces.
6. If you live in Phoenix, the only way to see snow during the winter is by driving two hours north. Doesn't sound that bad, right? Well it is when you have never heard of black ice and you realize that Arizona windshield wipers are not built to wipe snow, it sucks.
5. There is nothing to do. If you are under 21 you are especially screwed since that eliminates the bars. Other than that there is Castles n Coasters, the movies and anything else that costs a ton of money. Woohoo.
4. What is up with the assholes that drive the giant trucks that pour out black smoke out of their exhaust pipe? Am I the only one who has witnessed this more than 10 times driving by Arrowhead Mall? We get it. You are a big bad boy who drives a big bad truck. Is it necessary to blind the person behind you with your piece of crap vehicle?
3. There are no beaches. Who wants to live in a state where the only large bodies of water are infested with brain-eating amoeba?
2. Does Arizona even have seasons? All I know is for about a split second it is cold and everyone is sporting their jackets with the fur hoods. Then I blink and we all have to walk around naked or else we will melt away.
1. It is hot as balls and there is nothing to do. I reiterate because that sums basically all of Arizona. If it is not hot in the city you live, you are probably up north in a little Podunk town where the only thing to do is stare at a squirrel that is the size of a cat.
Viewing Comments 1 - 10 of 31
Terkquel
posted 7/01/09 @ 1:49 PM MST
I hear ya. Az is the pitts. I'm glad people that live in az and write for an az paper aren't afraid to keep it real and find the happy medium of cynicism and humor. (Continued…)
Zak
posted 7/04/09 @ 6:09 PM MST
i hear you man! ARIZONA SUCKAS MAJOR ASS. i hate it and the bitches that live here. but what pisses me off more than anything is the people who live hre and claim they "love" it. (Continued…)
AzHater
posted 8/03/09 @ 10:20 AM MST
How true. AZ has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It is hotter than blazes, nothing grows easily, and the sun has baked most of the residents' brains. (Continued…)
this state is a piece
posted 8/04/09 @ 9:12 AM MST
I hate az big time. I completely agree.
Str8 H8in on Ey Zee :' )
posted 8/04/09 @ 4:10 PM MST
I noticed people drive especially psychotic in the valley in the summer. Maybe because of the heat, maybe because of the meth they just consumed, regardless the reason, people drive frantic and they'll take the biggest chances just to cut someone off or just to make the light, it's really mind-blowing. (Continued…)
Agree
posted 8/06/09 @ 12:59 PM MST
So true. I can't wait to move away from this forsaken place. It's too hot to exist.
Ben : (
posted 8/06/09 @ 1:01 PM MST
It's especially true in az with roommates. You ask them to pay you almost a grand for rent when you promised them $460 and they get all annoyed. So dumb. (Continued…)
no more trails
posted 8/06/09 @ 1:03 PM MST
You can't go swimming in the ocean because we don't even have one. It's just a dirty, bud-light infested, white-trash engulfed, cess pool and there's like 50 thousand Trails commercials filmed here because it's the international symbol for garbage and sketchy people. (Continued…)
Freddie
posted 8/06/09 @ 1:59 PM MST
why don't you whiners move then?!
Freddie ate a fly
posted 8/07/09 @ 9:34 AM MST
Ever think some of the people that hate this state are? It's a lot easier to just say I'm moving than to collect the funds and get things situated as most of us have a working life. (Continued…)
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