College Times

Issue date: 7/2/09 Section: Sex

Love can make you do crazy things; for example it can convince you not to trust your instincts and to thus be stuck in the paralyzing state of denial.

This usually comes when suspicions arise; you might begin to worry that your partner is cheating, losing interest, lying or any number of things. Denial is an easy place to run to because we never want to believe that the person we've committed to would betray us.

A lot of people stay in relationships for far too long because of denial. They convince themselves that everything is fine but deep down they know it's not. It's hard, but it's important to trust your instincts.

If you feel that something is off, it probably is.

But what do you do?

A lot of times when you confront your partner they just reassure you that nothing is going on, and you want to believe them. In some cases, someone could tell you that they slept with your boyfriend and it still wouldn't convince you.

I think we all know when our relationship isn't working out, and then it just becomes a matter of time before we're ready to do something about it.

Unfortunately, without strong self confidence and a positive attitude, which consequently are the same things that diminish when you're not in a healthy relationship, it can be very hard to move on.

If you feel that something isn't right in your relationship, you must continue to remind yourself of it until that feeling is gone. Rather than ignoring it, question your partner and why you feel like that. Is it you? It's definitely possible to create paranoia if you're feeling insecure, but I believe that you won't feel those insecurities if you're with the right person.

In all of my past relationships I've felt insecure for all types of reasons, but I really think it's because none of those guys were right for me.

At the time, I thought they were the one, and I was convinced that all the drama was just part of the relationship.

I figured that relationships are hard and that all couples had to deal with not being happy a lot of the time. Now I know that it was all denial.

Your partner should bring out the best in you and make you feel good about yourself.

Relationships aren't about games and drama, and if you feel the need for that in your life, then you need to take a look at yourself and figure out why.

Don't use someone as your toy.

If you're not ready to love someone, don't be selfish. Let them move on.

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